GRAVY

Listless mood, lacklustre meal – how to save this state of affairs? Gravy, of course.

Wrong.

Aunt Bessie’s Gravy Granules: Classic (accurate italicisation) was the gravy in question. Store-bought meatballs, oven chips and cabbage was the meal in question.

I think a public relations representative of Aunt Bessie’s would cheerfully concede that their product is a 7/10 at most, with their main innovative thrust focusing on the Yorkshire Pudding market, but they would also argue its potential as a reliable meal-saver. And they’d be right.

But potential is one thing; execution is far more crucial than I’d previously considered. The packaging of the granules displays a beef, Yorkshires and peas combo, and here the gravy’s saviour status is assured: the meat’s too tough? Gravy it. The Yorkshire’s been left in five minutes too long? Gravy it. A pea always cries out to swim in gravy like a beach ball in a Balearic swimming pool.

In the real-world scenario, although a successful balance of liquid viscosity was achieved, it slimed up the balls, swamped the cabbage’s natural flavours and suffocated the chips, making them an oppressive starchy chore for mastication.

So, as it turns out, even gravy is not all gravy, when wrongly applied.

Overall meal score: 3/10

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