There are two schools of average food appreciation (AFA – and yes, we know, and the Asociación del Fútbol Argentino can go screw themselves, or simply never happen upon this blog). The two very closely mirror two measurement schools of the telly master gastronome.
There are the meticulous ones who measure with science as their faithful sword, the Heston Blumenthals if you will, and then there’s the rule of thumb, chuck something out there and hope for the best brigade, or the Keith Floyds of AFA. I am the latter in claw, tooth and QWERTY.
With that in mind, I can sense the question on your lips: exactly how much better does an average food taste when purchased from the reduced shelf of an average food outlet after a besplattering with an enticing yellow ticket by a lackadaisical staff member with an adhesive weapon?
An excellent query. I haven’t done a survey, or measured any factors, or considered any possible controls for the experiment, but I can point out a few things:
- It’s significant. Everyone knows that a yellow sticker makes the disgusting palatable and the mediocre a mouth-watering treat. You just do, and if you don’t know you’re lying to yourself for reasons at best unclear, and at worst downright nefarious.
- It’s not more than 50%. That would be silly; that would make a reduced Morrison’s ‘Fishmonger’ Thai Prawn fishcake a 1.5/10 or even more. It would not do.
- It’s not less than 25%. See point 1. We’re talking of the promotion of a consumable into a whole different division of experience, and there are four divisions (AFA has always mirrored the English Football League structure). You do the rule of thumb.
32.6%. The answer is 32.6%.