The other night your humble author was thrust into rather an awkward situation. A situation involving a young girl. And a cake. Bear with me.
Said girl was selling delicious-looking homemade cakes, at one pound a pop. Hard to go wrong, you might be thinking. And, by and large, I agree. It is hard to go wrong, and the girl deserves a bundle of Brownie points for achieving this feat.
‘What was the problem?’ I hear you gasping, moist with anticipation. And I’ll tell you. Lemon curd. The problem was lemon curd.* For deep within the bowels of the cake, hidden from the unsuspecting eater (ideally I’d think of a slightly more elaborate word than ‘eater’; I’m sure such a thing exists, but recollecting this unfortunate incident is addling my mind), was a surprising and unwanted blob of lemonular curdage.
Is my problem with this contingent upon a pre-existing dislike of the aforementioned curd? Yes and no. It is true that I dislike lemon curd intensely, so finding an unexpected blob of it in my cake was never exactly going to have me leaping with joy. But I would also be inclined to make the admittedly controversial point that an unexpected blob of anything is never a good thing. Why make it unexpected? Why not simply make it clear that the item of food about to be bought is with-blob? Why are you trying to hide it? Why are you laughing at me? WHY IS EVERYONE LAUGHING AT ME??
Lemon curd: 2/10
Unexpected lemon curd: 0/10
*when you think about it, most problems are lemon curd.