So here we go – welcome to Average Food Blog’s celebration of Floaty Food Fortnight*! Let’s start as we are contractually obliged to by the Floaty Foods Marketing Board**: Skips.

To those that say Skips should be thrown in a skip; that even a starving Skippy the Bush Kangaroo would listlessly skip his second to last skip over a lone opened bag in the outback, I admire your creativity in insults, but disagree with your basic position.

They’re “floaty light’ so the marketers say, but does that have to mean they’re conceptually lightweight? Well, yes and no.

I think of Skips as in the same food group as celery – you burn off calories from the hard thinking required to convince yourself you’re eating actual food. They are something less than food, but something more than not-food. What would David Hume have to say about this existential puzzle? Hard to say: he died in 1776; Skips were launched in 1974, two years short of 200 years later. Spooky.

Anyway, to add further weight to the Skip, they are the staple food for a state of flux. Between homes, jobs, lovers, meals? Eat Skips. Don’t feel you have to stop at one bag. No-one stops at one bag – unless you only picked up one bag. But of course no-one does that; it’s the supermarket multipack all the way, to reassure with slightly greater weight and sense of actual food in numbers.

Skips taste of chemically-generated prawn in a more visceral way than any chemically-generated seafood-flavoured snacks currently, or indeed historically, on the market. Even though the Skips Wikipedia page says they are “similar to prawn crackers” they are not that similar at all to prawn crackers. The Skips brand sponsors a ride at Chessington World of Adventures. Enough said.

All of these positive thoughts are negated for the later-launched bacon and cheese flavours, so just try not to think about them.

Skips (prawn cocktail) 8/10

*This Fortnight is totally made up

**This organisation is totally made up

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