Trop 50? Trop shitty more like! #wit

Cards on the table time: Tropicana ‘Trop 50’ is unacceptable. It is a straight-up, down-the-line, out-of-the-park, back-of-the-net disgrace. The bods at Tropicana should be strangled with their own orange grime-coated intestines for the demon they have unleashed upon the juice-drinkining populace.

It’s like this. Tropicana, normal Tropicana, prides itself on being ‘100% pure squeezed Florida sunshine’. Granted this is a metaphor, and as such is open to interpretation, but I think this is claiming that it is 100%, unadulterated, non-concentrated orange juice. Now what of ‘Trop 50’? Well, this claims to have ‘50% less sugar and calories than regular orange juice’. It seems, therefore, that what Tropicana have done is hoist themselves on their own shitty petard: their ‘regular’ juice is supposed to be totally natural, so to get a juice with 50% less sugar and calories than regular juice one would have to do some unnatural, weird stuff to it. What you end up with isn’t 100% pure squeezed Florida sunshine; it is the smog-covered sun coughing and spluttering over Vladivostok, blended with the testicles of Frankenstein.

And all this is very much borne out in the taste of the thing. It tastes like a watered-down version of Sunny Delight. Sure, you may have ingested 50% less sugar, but if joy is the currency you pay in, then I’ll take a one-way ticket to early death, thank you very sodding much.

Trop 50: 0/10


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s