ROAST OX CRISPS

ox

Mmm. Ox-y.

People generally don’t like to be reminded of the reality of what they eat. It is for this reason that veal is not marketed as ‘cute baby cow’, and eggs are not marketed as ‘chicken periods’, and sausages are not marketed as ‘pig anus and eyelids’. I could go on. It is therefore something of a mystery why Real Handcooked Crisps decided to call their roast beef flavoured crisps ‘Ox’. (Also, their own name is pretty weird. Real? As opposed to all those god-darned fake crisp merchants hawking their wares? I mean really.) The one thing I don’t want to be reminded of whilst munching on a beef-flavoured crisp is the animal from whence it came. And they don’t even call it ‘cow’, in all its generality; they call it ‘ox’. What is the difference between cow and ox flavour anyway? And bulls: where do they come into it?

And you want to know the ironic thing? The really, really ironic thing (more ironic than ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife)? They are vegetarian crisps! They don’t even contain any cow, let alone a cow as specific as an ox. That really got my goat. Or to be more specific, my nine-year-old brown Anglo-Nubian goat.

The crisps were quite tasty though.

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