Yellowy, gloopy and multi-functional, ustard is one of the strongest word-endings in food.

Custard is unequivocally great. It can be enjoyed hot and cold, differences in quality between packet and self-made varieties are not exactly huge (a major plus in the realm of average food). Confectioner’s custard is the average made transcendent.

Mustard is largely great; with a certain quantity of nuance. Of course, one of the wider-agreed pieces of casual xenophobia is that French mustard is an inferior variety to English. American is a given sub-standard. But nonetheless, these lesser varieties don’t detract to such a great degree from the strength of the overall mustard, and indeed ustard, package.

Speaking of packaging, the containers of ustard generally avoid overly-ostentatious shows; rightly confident, presumably, in their simple ability to impress without marketing gimmicks.

Across the ustard range, all meal courses can be covered for possible intervention, and inevitable improvement. It should be noted that this is an important time of year for ustard. Anecdotally, it has been suggested that 90% or more of Christmas joy is derived from its work.

There are doubters of ustard, this cannot be denied. The full glory of ustard could perhaps only be known with a joined-up trade association to rebut all pejorative words, which are in the main influenced by snobbishness and various kinds of parasitic infection.

Bustard is an endangered bird, so I won’t consider it within this food group for now. Though give the conservationists a few years to get its numbers up…

USTARD: 8/10


One thought on “USTARD

  1. odeboyz

    I’ve been waiting a long time for this. Yes conservationists everywhere will be working hard to make bustard sandwiches available as an AF after reading this…. I’m forwarding it to WWF immediately.


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