GALAXY COUNTERS

counters

Place: Greece

Time: Olden Days

People: Plato and Aristotle

Level of importance: high

 

“You tried them new Galaxy Counters things, then?”

“Meh.”

“What do you mean, meh?”

“I mean I’m not a massive fan, tbh.

“Why not?”

“Well, look at it this way. They’re just Minstrels, but without that sugary shell. The sugary shell was part of what made Minstrels so great. You could suck them gently, until cracks started to emerge in the shell and little bits of warm, melted chocolate seeped into your mouth through the cracks. Good times.”

“I don’t think the absence of the sugary shell is such a bad thing. As you yourself admitted, it was by dint of the chocolate coming through the cracks of said shell that you liked Minstrels. In other words, the shell was desirable only as a means via which the chocolate could be received. Why not, then, dispense with the shell in favour of pure, unadorned chocolate?”

“Ah, but does your argument not ignore the possibility that overcoming an obstacle can make the end even more desirable?

“What is progress if not the removal of obstacles?”

“Whevs, man. It’s just Galaxy chocolate anyway, just in a different shape. Why not just buy a Galaxy bar? This is just a big opportunity for multinational companies to recycle the same old shit under the guise of innovation.”

“What are multinational companies? This is the Olden Days.”

“Oh, how very ‘meta’. You think you’re so clever, don’t you? With your big words and stupid arguments about stuff NO ONE CARES ABOUT ANYWAY. Who the HELL do you think you are, anyway? I mean, Galaxy Counters? Who gives a shit? They taste quite nice. They’re Galaxy chocolate, after all. But they’re for cowards; the kind of people who can’t choose between Minstrels and straight-up Galaxy bars. They are dishonest, and I don’t like them.

“What is honesty, anyway?”

“Piss off.”

“Take a chill pill. How about this: you and me, going into business together, selling just the shells of Minstrels, without the chocolate bit in the middle. Just the shells, man. What do you say? Just me, you, and the shells? What do you say man? Me and you, man. Me and you. Yeah?”

[and the rest, as they say, is history]

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