Oh Peter, what have you done?
While many ‘Indian food-themed’ pies and pasties have at times provided a grave insult to the nation of India, this is no less than an all-out declaration of war.
This snack food has a stronger aftertaste of margarine than any tub of margarine. It is both sweet and sour in all the wrong ways, and the pastry is like chewing Amazon packaging left on a doorstep for an entire monsoon season. It is absolutely brutal.
My belief is that, given such a pleasing premise, a supreme effort is required to make a pastry-based product of gargantuan shitness. Peter, if that is indeed his real name, has achieved this. This is more a sluice than a slice.
As part of its rudimentary ‘branding’ the packaging includes a cartoon chilli bearing devil horns and offering up the speech bubble “ONE SPICY SLICE”. I truly hope that can be taken as literal and I’ve done the world a humanitarian favour by taking it out of circulation.
All this said, this still is a pasty-esque food, and for that alone, it must receive a sole and entirely undeserved point in our ten-point scale.