Krispy Kreme doughnuts are often lauded as the very apotheosis of commercially-available circular sugary products, and for good reason: they are generally pretty good. At the very least, one might expect a Krispy Kreme doughnut purchased from one of those little cabinets at a motorway service station in a place called Fleet to be the best item purchased during the stopover.
Not so, ladies and gentlemen. Not so. My cold samosa was infinitely better.
It was a decent samosa, I’ll grant that, but this should not detract from the sheer inadequacy of the doughnut. I left it until after the samosa, savouring the anticipation like a child who has been told he can only eat dessert after finishing his vegetables. I expected the doughnut to be worth the wait.
The culprit in question was the ‘chocolate fudge’ doughnut. Chocolate fudge should by rights be the heady, luxuriant queen of the doughnut world, but this one was bland, and made of a kind of dense, crumbly cake, instead of the normal doughnut, well, dough. And it wasn’t even particularly good cake. It tasted a bit like that feeble, anaemic stuff you get during Passover, which, believe you me, is very far from a good thing.
I’m not proud of drawing this comparison, but I’m going to do it anyway, because it is 5:20pm on a Sunday afternoon, and it is a free country: eating this doughnut was a bit like having an underpowered, dribbly ejaculation. Which, sat in a car at Fleet service station, I would probably have preferred anyway.