Hot on the heels of the zeitgeist as ever, I found myself in Greece the other week. With a great sense of duty weighing upon me, I will review its national cuisine flippantly in a few paragraphs.
It does not really require mentioning that all the things they do with olives are solid performers. They are. Perhaps the only criticism is that they can go a bit OTT on things with olives in them, but this is a minor quibble. That’s too much mentioning already.
By and by, I witnessed many North Europeans, possibly finance workers, enjoying these things with olives in them, quaffing Raki and generally enjoying the chance to sample a different, more joyous, pace of life. I digress.
White cheese-filled pies were the main average food focus, as a man of my Yorkshireness and income. They are incredible, and incredibly greasy. My physical fitness has jumped off the delicious, crumbly, crispy, oily crust of a cheese-filled pie.
Physical degradation leads me neatly to the main foodstuff discovered in the course of this national cuisine exploration – what I’m going to term ‘The Anti-Austerity Burger’.
10 rashers bacon
1 block hard cheese
1 regular tub Philadelphia cream cheese
Wrap all 10 rashers of bacon carefully round block of cheese. Smother bread in entire tub of Philadelphia. Wrap cheesed bread around baconed cheese. Deep fry.
I must at this point clarify that this health-crippling monster was not something I personally experienced, but rather a recipe invented that very morning and spoken of by its creator while we both stood outside a derelict theatre, next to a derelict park, drinking wine out of a plastic cup. The story was corroborated by her shocked-looking partner. Presumably shocked at the fact that not only was this innovator in Greek Cuisine still alive, but undoubtedly gloating in her trailblazing culinary achievement.
This protein-packed punch in the aorta flies in the face of north European creditors. This is so emblematic of deep-fried defiance that I’m of the opinion that the anarchist movement should immediately replace their logo with this sandwich. Nothing would send out a stronger message of ‘We Will Not Be Moved (And Neither Will Our Digestive Systems)’.
THINGS WITH OLIVES: 8/10
CHEESE-FILLED PIES: 9/10
ANTI-AUSTERITY BURGER Ⓐ/10
GREEK CUISINE: 9/10