In football vernacular, prawn sandwiches do not have very good connotations. The ‘Prawn Sandwich Brigade’ is used as a derogatory term for people who attend matches primarily to avail themselves of the corporate hospitality (i.e. people who go the Emirates stadium), the implication being that prawn sandwiches are the cuisine of choice for bell-ends, tools and wankstains.

A further implication is that prawn sandwiches are somehow upmarket, that they are beyond the pecuniary purview of the ordinary, shit-eating, replica shirt-wearing populace. This strikes me as bizarre, on account of the fact that the pies and plastic beer bottles you get at a football stadium cost about a million squids a pop, whilst prawn sandwiches are available for a mere £1.49 squid down at Morrisons.

And, it has to be said, they are very good prawn sandwiches indeed. They are billed as ‘prawn and mayo’, but the prawn to mayo ratio is extremely high, unlike in rival chains where each mouthful is about 50% bread, 10% prawn and 40% mayo. (Look at me, dad, I done some maths. The money you spent on my education was not for nothing!) The prawns are cold and fresh, and the quality of the bread is at the upper end of what can be expected for such a minimal outlay. The sandwich, basically, is a winner. Which is more than what you get at the Emirates! #football #bantz #COYS

Morrisons Prawn Sandwich: 10/10

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