I am currently living it up in New York City. NYC. Noo Yoik. The Big Apple. Satan’s Cronut. (I made that last one up.) So far the city has sent me into such paroxysms of gustatory ecstasy that I even brought along a little notebook to one restaurant, so I could chronicle my comestible pilgrimage for this here blog. The waiter must have thought I was a reviewer for the New York Times or something, since he gave us dessert ‘on the house’. Dessert was a weird yet amazing thing called ‘Louisiana Dump Cake’, which sounds like the morning after a heavy night on the spicy jambalaya but in fact consists of a kind of pineapple and cherry goo. And to wash it all down there was an excellent Louisiana IPA by a brewery called Abita.

(We started off chatting about Sainsbury’s ready meals, now it’s American IPA. This is digital gentrification in action, guys; we’re getting fat and beardy off those colossal AFB paychecks.)

The following morning I went to a bagel shop (natch; standard; obvz) and noticed a sign informing me that said bagel shop was purveying something called ‘apple cider’ at one buck a pop. Now, coming as I do from the land of Strongbow and White Lightning, cider was probably the very last thing I fancied at 8am of a Tuesday morning. So obviously, what I did was buy a cup. When in Rome and all that.

American cider, as it turns out, is not the same thing as British cider. It is, in fact, a kind of warm apple juice. But we’re not talking your standard issue Tesco-grade concentrated syrup; we’re talking the good stuff. It was hot and ever so slightly viscous, and was suffused with cinnamon and spices. It was sweetness in a cup, essentially. God bless ‘Murica! Surely we can forgive a bit of militaristic imperialism in the light of this nectar.

Some other observations regarding New York fare: they call kebabs ‘gyros’, and sell them from little stalls on every fucking street in town. They have good cookies. The sandwiches are big. They call prawns ‘shrimp’. If you order corn on the cob it will likely some smothered in cheese and quite possibly bacon and other stuff. There are lots of delis. Bears are Catholic. Popes shit in the woods.

Apple cider: 10/10

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