Do you want to hear the most depressing joke in the world? Here goes: what do you get if you cross a really shit pie with an undercooked, anaemic cheese omelette?
A quiche, that’s what.
If you are an elderly woman looking for an inexpensive yet vaguely ‘sophisticated’ item of food to take to the vicar’s coffee morning down the village hall, then you just about might have an excuse for indulging in this soggy, tasteless abomination.
Or perhaps you actually enjoy the texture of mashed-up jellied eyeball encased in reconstituted sawdust.
If neither of the above applies to you, then what in God’s name are you doing? Put that bloody thing back on the shelf and get some proper food.
Be on the lookout: as the festive season approaches, it is probable that you will find yourself in a situation where kids are doing quiche. You may think it looks big and clever, but it isn’t. If you want pastry, have a pastry. If you want cheese then have some cheese. If you want some bacon then have some bacon.
Quiche? You’re better than that..