SALAM DE BISCUITI

I’d rate my cultural awareness at 4/10. In Great Britain, this qualifies as very high cultural awareness. This, however, was nowhere near the levels required to prepare me for Salam de Biscuiti.

Salam de Biscuiti is not the concept of an Arabic speaker offering a greeting with a tray of Rich Teas, but rather the other thing the words suggest to an oaf such as myself. That’s right: biscuit salami. It’s a Romanian seasonal treat that happened to be on offer in my local ‘continental’ superstore – the standard point of cultural edification in my narrow universe.

Suffice to say this is the most confusing experience my mouth has ever taken on, but nonetheless utterly compelling. This is a sweetmeat that has virtually every strong and distinct flavour such a thing might consider containing: cocoa, rum, cherries, crushed biscuits, and, to top things off, Turkish delight. There is no garlic in this salami. It’s soft, chewy, confusing. Absolute utter delicious madness I tell you.

There may have been a backlash against the general concept of Romanian culture from the British sub-4/10 cultural awareness brigade recently, but if this is the standard fare they’re bringing to the table, I say throw open the gates, crush the White Cliffs of Dover and mix the resulting powder with some Turkish delight and butter. This party’s going on until the crushing blood sugar come-down.

9/10